The SHIFT: a Journey from Reaction to Intentional Living
"Why are you always so angry all the time?!"
The words hung in the air like morning fog, spoken by my mother-in-law during what should have been just another family dinner. As she put down her utensils and looked straight into my eyes, time seemed to stand still. In that moment, a truth I had been avoiding crashed through the carefully constructed walls of my self-perception.
My staff had already given me a nickname: "Enojón"—Spanish for “the angry one.” I had worn it like a badge of honor, convincing myself it was the fuel that powered my success in running two restaurants and a catering business. It was my superpower, or so I thought. What I didn't realize was that superpowers often come with hidden costs.
The universe has a way of sending us messages, first as gentle whispers, then as increasingly urgent wake-up calls. For me, those messages came in waves: acid reflux that required surgery, a life-threatening bout with sepsis after a routine procedure, and finally, a cancer diagnosis that stopped me in my tracks. "Hmmm... maybe there's something here for me," I finally admitted to myself.
The Questions That Changed Everything
In the midst of this personal storm, three fundamental questions emerged that would ultimately guide me toward what I now call "The Shift"—a profound transformation from living reactively to living intentionally.
First Question: What do I want?
This deceptively simple question proved to be the hardest to answer. I sought help from therapists, journaled extensively, and had countless conversations with friends and my wife. I took inventory of my skills, accomplishments, strengths, and weaknesses—but something was missing. These external markers of success weren't addressing the deeper yearning in my soul.
Second Question: What am I all about?
This question opened the door to a profound revelation I had first encountered twenty years ago in a personal growth course: we are nothing but our core values. This insight hit me like a bolt of lightning, and even now, years later, it continues to illuminate my path.
We often mistake our personality, ego, or even our physical body for who we are. But these are merely components of our experience, not our essence. Aristotle called "essence," the set of qualities that defines a thing to be what it is. Our core values are the thread that connects us to something larger than ourselves, existing before us and continuing long after we're gone.
Third Question: What am I prepared to do about it?
Once I understood my values and what truly mattered, this question became the bridge between insight and action. We can all say we want things—to lose weight, to start a business, to transform our lives—but are we willing to do what it takes to achieve them?
When our actions align with our essence, movement becomes effortless and we experience that things just flow. It's no longer about forcing change; it's about expressing who we truly are.
The Shift into Authenticity
This journey of self-discovery led me to a profound shift in my life and career. Today, as a Transformational Leadership Coach, I have the privilege of guiding others through their own shifts—from reaction to intention, from external validation to inner knowing.
The anger that once defined me hasn't completely disappeared, but it no longer holds the reins of my life. Instead, I've found a new source of energy—the power of alignment between who I am and how I live.
Every coaching session reminds me of the universal nature of this journey. Whether we're exploring purpose, career transitions, life balance, or values-based leadership, there's always a common thread: the search for authenticity and meaningful connection.
Your Journey Begins with a Question
As you read this, you might be feeling that subtle nudge—that whisper from the universe suggesting that perhaps you, too, are ready for a shift. Maybe you're wearing your own version of a "superpower" that's starting to feel more like a burden. Or perhaps you're simply curious about what lies beyond the life you've constructed.
Whatever brings you here, know that this is your invitation to explore:
What do you truly want?
What are you all about—what values form your essence?
What are you prepared to do to achieve what you really want?
The answers to these questions won't come all at once, and that's perfectly fine. The journey of self-discovery isn't a sprint; it's a thoughtful exploration that unfolds in its own time.
I invite you to join me in this exploration. Through this blog, I'll share weekly insights, personal stories, thought-provoking questions, and practical wisdom gathered from both my personal journey and my work with clients. Together, we'll explore the shifts that lead to a more authentic, fulfilling life.
Because sometimes, the most powerful shift is the one we never knew we needed.
Are you feeling ready for your own shift? Share your thoughts in the comments below. What questions are stirring in your heart? What shifts are you sensing on your horizon? Let's start this conversation together.